No More Goodbyes.

 

“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings” – Lao Tzu

Hey everybody! I’m baaaack 😀 It’s been a hot minute since I updated y’all on everything (actually it’s been 13 months but who’s counting lol). I have tons of stuff to talk about but something in particular has been on my mind so I’m going to start with that. Here we go!

What’s the hardest part of traveling? For me, it’s constantly having to say goodbye. 

Everywhere I go, I meet amazing human beings from all walks of life. All of these people serve a purpose in my journey. And meeting different people is one of my favorite parts of traveling. Actually, it’s the reason why I travel. Through meeting others, we discover ourselves. It allows us to grow, learn, and evolve. And that is why you are never the same after exploring different parts of the world. Change is inevitable.

Each person that you meet, plays a different role in your life. There are those people who test your limits, make you question things, and push you outside of your comfort zone. Others who motivate you, inspire you to be a better person, and help you to try new things. Those who reflect back to you all the issues that you need to work on and heal. And people who literally save your ass and propel you towards your destiny. Every interaction is invaluable and can offer us immense knowledge (if we allow it to). However, no matter how long the friendship or relationship lasts, there will always be a goodbye.

There’s a beautiful saying by Alexander Graham Bell, “When one door closes, another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” This quote is true in so many ways. All endings lead to new beginnings but we must allow ourselves to let go and release everything that’s holding us back. Sometimes holding on causes more damage than letting go.

I am a sensitive person and I tend to connect deeply with people rather quickly. Traveling has helped me develop this skill. By meeting so many people and having such a limited amount of time with them, you have to open up faster than you normally would. And while I absolutely love getting to know lots of people, I’m realizing that most of these “friendships” are quite superficial and tend to fizzle out once you go your separate ways. Sure, there are some exceptions to the rule. But typically, the time that you share with fellow travelers will be brief.

Sometimes, you ask yourself…”Why should I even bother if this is never going to lead to anything substantial”? And while this is a valid thought, it’s missing the whole point. Not everyone you meet is going to stay in your life. In fact, very few people will. But change is not dependent on time. Some people can quickly cause a ripple effect. If you hadn’t met them, your life would be completely different. Some people cause bigger impacts on us than others but… we can learn something from everyone. And that’s definitely worth remembering.

So, whenever I no longer want to meet people and I feel like shutting down, I need to remind myself why I’m traveling in the first place. I may never see or talk to these people again but I’ll always have the memories as well as the lessons. There is a reason for everything that happens. Everyone you meet is a teacher and it’s only when we stay open that we can learn from them. The key is to stay present, embrace the moment, enjoy the time you spend with others, and experience life to the fullest. 

And I’ll end with a quote from the wonderful Dr. Seuss, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”

Until next time, I send you all love, peace, and happiness 🙂

~Maryann

New Plymouth – Part 3

“I am not the same having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world” – Mary Anne Radmacher

I’m baaaack! And New Plymouth is just as glorious as it was two years ago 🙂

For those of you that don’t know… I decided to quit my job, sell my car, and travel back to the place that felt most like home. The place that I’m referring to is New Zealand. And if we’re getting really specific, it’s New Plymouth (a small coastal city on the West coast of New Zealand’s North Island). This is actually the third time I’ve written about New Plymouth (see Part 1 and Part 2).

I decided a one month vacation in New Zealand was just what I needed to restore myself and relax. Plus, there were quite a few spots on the North Island that I missed on the first time around. But what I’ve realized is that it’s not about how many places you can see or how many things you can do. Sometimes, the best thing we can give ourselves is a break.

I’ve been in New Zealand for a little over 2 weeks and most of that time has been spent in New Plymouth. I have felt the urge to see other places after comparing myself to other travelers. It’s common for many people to ask you where you’re going and/or where you’ve been. But traveling is not a contest. We’re all on different journeys. And from past experience, I know it’s better to have flexible plans that allow you to go on unexpected adventures. The future is filled with amazing opportunities. The key is to stay open to them.

When I arrived in the Taranaki region (which is where New Plymouth is located), I had a huge smile on my face. There are signs that say “Woo Hoo!” “You’re in Taranaki” and seeing them always make me happy. It was quite cloudy for the first 5 or 6 days so I was unable to clearly see Mount Taranaki (the famous dormant volcano that this region is named after). However, when I finally caught a clear shot of the mountain, it was a gorgeous sight to behold. This region is also known for its surf highway and black sand beaches. I think that’s what makes New Plymouth so special. You get both the ocean and a volcano in the landscape. Absolutely amazing!

Let’s go back to the beginning though. I arrived in New Zealand on March 4th and I stayed in a small bed and breakfast in Cockle Bay (close to Auckland). It was lovely to have my own room and bed for 2 nights. Jet lag can be sneaky and luckily it only lasted about 5 or 6 days for me this time. Also, not sleeping for 36 hours probably made it a bit worse. It’s all in the fun of traveling and the sacrifices are always worth it. Always.

I arrived in New Plymouth on March 6th but I decided to stay in another hostel called Ducks and Drakes. I made this decision for a few reasons. Number 1, this particular hostel is right across from the supermarkets and the city centre is only a 10 minute flat walk away. Number 2, I always wanted to stay here because I heard really good things about it. Number 3, I wanted to adjust to being back in New Plymouth while staying in a new place with no past memories. I stayed there for 1 week and had a fantastic time. I would definitely recommend it 🙂

In that first week in New Plymouth, I accomplished things that I hadn’t while I was last here. Everything happens when it’s supposed to. I was able to visit the contemporary art museum (Govett-Brewster Art Gallery), see the Te Rewa Rewa bridge (an artistically designed white bridge that resembles a whale’s ribs and picturesquely outlines Mount Taranaki from afar), and walk on the black sand at Fitzroy beach. I also visited the Puke Ariki museum and walked through Pukekura park (a large stunning park filled with lakes, walking tracks, and a zoo). I made a few friends at the Ducks and Drakes hostel and it was sad to say goodbye. Although, that is the nature of backpacking. You get really good at making friends and then biding them farewell within a short time.

March 13th was the day to change hostels and check in to the Sunflower Lodge. I was somewhat nervous about staying here this time due to tons of past memories. However, it was definitely time to come back. Although there were different people, everything was pretty much the same. One of the things I love about this hostel is how quite and serene it is. It’s like coming back home. There’s a special energy here for sure.

I was able to catch up with Julie, Richard, and Marvey (the dog). I actually went over to their house for lunch (which was delicious). Their house and garden is gorgeous. It was great to talk about old times.

I made a few friends while at the Sunflower Lodge as well. I was able to finally see Mount Taranaki up close (thanks to my french roommates). We hiked through the forest to see Dawson Falls which was breathtaking. I definitely got a ton of exercise that day but it was well worth the effort. I was able to go back to Fitzroy beach with the French receptionist and I can now say that I’ve been in the Tasman Sea! It was so blue and clear 😀

And to sum this up (because I could talk forever about New Plymouth), here’s 10 things I’ve learned/realized while being back here…

1. Culture shock still occurs even if you’ve already visited a place before and it can be emotionally unraveling at times. It’s important to recognize it’s happening and let it run its course. It will pass.
2. It’s best to remain present instead of living in the past. Memories can be overwhelming but pleasant simultaneously. However, the past is in the past. If you’re in a place, be there with all of your being. Make new memories and take everything in.
3. Things are never as bad as we imagine they will be. It may be hard sometimes but feeling frustrated means you’re growing and expanding. Keep moving forward.
4. Some areas will hold a special place in your heart forever.
5. I am strong, capable, and resilient.
6. Less thinking, more feeling. If you enjoy staying in a place, then stay there. If you feel urged to go somewhere, go there. We don’t have to have it all figured out. Just be sure to make decisions from a state of love rather than fear.
7. Everything is happening as it should and it’s all good.
8. Allow yourself to feel. Work through these feelings and release them. You’ll be glad you did.
9. Let go of all the distractions. Observe your surroundings, interact with different people, and immerse yourself in nature. Healing happens in the present.
10. Just be yourself and allow others to be themselves as well. Release the judgments and criticisms. Be the imperfect person that you are and embrace all of it. Most importantly, discover self-love and know that the person you are right now is enough.

There are so many other things I’ve learned so far but I’ll save that for another day 😉 Lots of challenges have been overcome and I wouldn’t change any of it. I’m right where I’m supposed to be and I’m absolutely loving it.

It’s a mystery where I’ll travel next. But I’m following my heart and having faith in the process. Everything is working out in a beautiful way.

Until next time, I send all of you peace, love, and happiness!

~Maryann

 

Sometimes… We Find The Answer

 

I have been on a never-ending search since I came home to understand why I cannot let go of certain experiences and people from my past. I have read countless articles and books, listened to hours of music, watched several movies, and yet I still could not find an explanation.

I am happy to report that I finally discovered the reason why. I found an article (click here to read it) which summed up everything perfectly. Even better than I could have ever imagined. Everything just clicked as a read it in a moment of pure clarity.

I was never supposed to forget about my past in the first place!

The past had made me who I am today. An impact that will remain for the rest of my life. I am not the same person that I was before. These important changes that occurred within me cannot be undone and nor would I want them to be.

I was trying so hard to forget everything and move on. However, I missed the whole point. The moments in life that are unforgettable are often the most significant.

There are many things in life which are not meant to last. But time is irrelevant. It’s the lessons that we learn along the way. Lessons that may take a minute, an hour, a day, or several years.

We can choose to look at the past as a burden or a blessing. How we choose to view our life is our own choice. It’s all about perception.

I will move forward knowing that I am a better person for having experienced my past. I no longer see it as a burden but that I am truly blessed. And when those reminders of the past come creeping back in my mind, I will smile. Because I am happy to have those memories and I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.

Love,

Maryann

Keep Your Heart Open

“The bigger the wall, the bigger the heartbreak” – Me

 

Okay, please don’t judge me for what I’m about to admit. I went on Tinder this past Friday night and I met up with a guy. This was one of the most spontaneous things I have ever done. I talked to him for maybe an hour and decided to meet him. The mini date went well but I had no desire to go on a second date. Nevertheless, I was proud of myself for putting myself out there and taking a risk. It was scary as Hell. But exciting at the same time. I was nervous and my stomach filled with butterflies. However, I pushed through the fear and did it anyway. Why am telling you this story? Because life is about pushing yourself outside your comfort zone and this story is a perfect example of that.

Let’s take a few steps back for a minute. For most of my whole life, I have worked extremely hard to build up emotional walls around myself so that I wouldn’t be hurt by anyone. I have lived up to other people’s expectations and conformed to what I thought everybody wanted me to be. I put a mask over my face to conceal my true self. I’m playing a role in the play called Life. But at the same time, I’m being inauthentic. I’m not being who I truly am inside because I’m afraid. Terrified of letting people in because what if they disliked what they saw. But I’m tired of living a lie and pretending to be someone that I’m not.

I had some huge realizations today. By building up walls around myself, I was protecting myself from darkness while depriving myself of the light as well. What happens to a heart that is closed off from light? It becomes a black hole. Destroying anything that comes within its proximity. Over time, the heart begins to sabotage itself by feeding the darkness. It becomes cynical and apprehensive. It questions everything. This is the point where blocking off your heart backfires. Because not feeling anything is much worse than feeling pain.

Within each of us, exists darkness and light. The Ying and the Yang. An internal balance of energies. When you shut down and refuse to become intimately connected to others, you throw off that delicate balance within. The light within can never be fully extinguished because it is the light of our soul. But it can become diminished (If we allow it to be). And sometimes we don’t even realize it’s happening. That is until the Universe intervenes.

There are certain people in this world who have the ability to reignite the hearts of others. They have the special superpower to break through the walls that have been constructed. They can shine in light where there was once only darkness. Through this, miracles occur.

We often look at heartbreak as a bad thing. We wish that it had never happened or that we had never met those people. But sometimes we needed our hearts to be broken wide open. To have an intense energy surge through our being and cause that small flame of light to become a raging fire. A spark to awaken us to the love that’s waiting to enter our lives. But that future love requires us to be open and receptive not closed and dismissive. Through heartbreak, we learn to feel again. We allow our selves to heal without building up new walls. We are exposed and we are vulnerable. And it doesn’t always feel good. But it is necessary. Because we are meant to shine our light and experience love.

So, let’s take a moment to thank those people from our past who allowed us to rediscover our true selves. The ones that pushed us outside our comfort zone and made us uncomfortable. Because without these unsung heroes, we may still be stuck in the darkness. They allowed us to remember why we’re all here on this planet. In order to be connected and come together for a greater good. I send a big thank you to all who have broken down my walls and broken open my heart. Without you, I have no clue where I’d be. The lesson in all of this is there is always a silver lining in everything that happens. Stay positive and always keep your heart open. For you never know when love might cross your path 😉

Until next time and sending you all my love as always,

~Maryann

 

My Wanderlust

Wanderlust (n): a strong desire for or impulse to wander or travel and explore the world.

“The world is a book and those who don’t travel read only one page” – Saint Augustine

 

You may be thinking to yourself… Wanderlust? What is that? Why is she bringing this up? Where is this conversation going anyway? Let me explain what my experience has been and hopefully help you to understand what all this is about.

Wanderlust is a feeling. In essence, it’s a way of life. Once you experience Wanderlust, it stays with you forever. An incessant urge to travel. Not in order to escape or run away from your life but rather to discover new worlds and pieces of yourself that you forgot existed. It’s a desire to meet new people from all over the world and to reconnect with fellow travelers that you’ve crossed paths with before. It’s a sense of adventure that fills your heart and ignites you soul. To some people, including myself, traveling is everything. It is life and the very reason why we’re on this earth. Traveling allows you to grow through beautiful experiences, create wonderful memories, and understand what love is. Although traveling isn’t always easy and the road can be rocky at times, wanderlusters take that risk because they understand that the benefits outweigh the challenges.

Now I know there are some of you reading this right now who cannot understand and who may think that this all sounds rather foolish. The funny thing is that you have to experience Wanderlust in order to fully “get” it. This phenomenon does not happen to everyone either. There are many people who travel and can return to their former lives without a second thought of what they are leaving behind. However, for those of us who have been bitten by the travel bug, the only cure is to keep traveling. Once returning home, wanderlusters have a harder time readjusting to their old lives. Everything is different and yet it is exactly the same. I realized that the reason why all things familiar suddenly felt so foreign was because I had changed. A part of you adores the comforts of living in your own private space and spending time with people that you know. But then there’s the part of you who knows how much adventure is waiting out there in the world. You want to travel far and wide to experience as much of it as you can. It feels as though anything is possible because the world truly is so small (once you travel roughly 18,690 kilometers or 11,613 miles away from home, you realize that you can basically get anywhere in the world within 24 hours).

I only wish that everyone could have the opportunity to experience this sense of renewed freedom, if for only once in their lifetime. To leave everything you know and be open to the unknown. Traveling, especially when alone, helps to build self-confidence and strengthen your faith in both yourself and the world. You realize that you can accomplish anything that you set your mind to as long as you take the leap and continue to trust your journey. Life can and will definitely take unexpected turns. But I truly believe that you must follow your heart no matter what anyone else thinks or says. It doesn’t matter about how many naysayers you encounter. As long as you’re doing what you love and allowing your heart to guide you, the doors will open and the path will be shown. I know I say this a lot but there are reasons why everything happens in the way that it does. In my eyes, there are no coincidences. There were so many times that my next destination was influenced by suggestions from fellow travelers and even friends from back home. We end up exactly where we need to be at the precise moment that we’re supposed to. As a traveler with no real fixed plans, I often didn’t even know I wanted to be in a certain place until I arrived there (case in point = New Zealand).

Wanderlust changes you for the better. It allows you to eliminate all the things that you thought you should be so that you can become who you were meant to be. I will always have this great longing to keep exploring the world, whether it be to visit new places or return to places from the past. But I’m keeping my sights set on the horizon and looking forward to the future. I’ve changed tremendously through traveling and I’m so happy that I was courageous enough to venture out on my own.  I’m grateful that I was able to step outside of my comfort zone and switch up the direction of my life. I know without a doubt that I’ll be traveling again and it’s only a matter of time until I do. But until that day comes, I still have the wonderful memories and friends that I’ve made along the way. What keeps my sense of hope alive is the dream of a future that is filled with endless possibilities and spectacular moments. And although Wanderlust may be considered a curse by some,  it has definitely been a blessing for me.

Until next time…

~Maryann

 

 

In The Spirit of Thanksgiving

Hey Everyone,

I know I said that I was going to skip this week BUT I got inspired by the holiday season. I wanted to write a brief history of Thanksgiving and also explain what Thanksgiving represents to me personally.

Lets start with how it all started (for those of you who are not American and have no clue why we do what we do).

Here’s a quick synopsis according to Wikipedia:

“Thanksgiving, or Thanksgiving Day, is a holiday celebrated in the United States on the fourth Thursday in November. It has been celebrated as a federal holiday every year since 1863, when, during the Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed a national day of ‘Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens’, to be celebrated on the last Thursday in November. Thanksgiving was also celebrated nationally in 1789, after a proclamation by George Washington. As a federal and public holiday in the U.S., Thanksgiving is one of the major holidays of the year. Together with Christmas and New Year, Thanksgiving is a part of the broader holiday season.

The event that Americans commonly call the ‘First Thanksgiving’ was celebrated by the Pilgrims after their first harvest in the New World in 1621. This feast lasted three days, and it was attended by 90 Native Americans (as accounted by attendee Edward Winslow) and 53 Pilgrims. The New England colonists were accustomed to regularly celebrating ‘thanksgivings’—days of prayer thanking God for blessings such as military victory or the end of a drought”.

 

So, for all of you out there who think Thanksgiving is just a time for Americans to eat loads of food and watch American football…well you’re somewhat correct lol. Many Americans do actually look forward to this holiday for those reasons. Oh, and who could forget the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade!! That’s one of my favorite things about this holiday 🙂

But let’s talk about what Thanksgiving means to me.

Thanksgiving is a time to be grateful for everything that you have in your life. It’s a time where you get together with family (who you may not have seen all year) and you celebrate all the things that you are thankful for. Of course, we do eat tons of delicious food but it’s not ONLY about that. I love reminiscing on the past and creating new memories as well. It’s a time of reflection and a time to appreciate the harvest/autumn season. It’s a holiday completely dedicated to family and that’s what I love most about it. Anyone can celebrate Thanksgiving because it’s not religious in nature and everyone has something to be grateful for.

It’s a little strange to be back in the States at this time of the year. I’m still getting used to all the Thanksgiving wishes. When you’re traveling on the other side of the world with only foreigners around you, nobody even acknowledges that it’s a holiday season. Because the truth is, it’s really only an American tradition (although, Canadians do have their own Thanksgiving in October). So while you’re excited, everyone around you remains oblivious.

Last Thanksgiving, I had literally just arrived in New Zealand (Christchurch to be exact) and I did have some Americans at the hostel with me. We consoled each other over missing our “Day of Thanks”. I was just glad to have people around me that understood what I felt at the time.

This year, I’ve been bombarded by people wishing me a good holiday and I’ve been taken a back by it (in a good way). Thanksgiving decorations are everywhere and who could forget the advertisements for Black Friday. Suffice to say, I’m very happy to be back in the U.S. for this holiday season (in more ways than one).

So, what am I thankful for this year, you ask? Here’s the top 5:

1. My family and friends (both new and old)
2. My health (I am very fortunate to be well)
3. The opportunity to travel and the enormous inner growth that resulted (life experience beats the classroom any day)
4. My freedom (the future is filled with endless possibilities)
5. My courage (I can accomplish anything I set my heart & mind on)

I still say Thanksgiving should be a worldwide holiday but alas, that is only one of my dreams (kind of kidding and kind of serious lol). Maybe my friends across the globe can start a trend?! We shall see.

I will enjoy spending tomorrow with my family, enjoying good food and good company. I may even brave the Black Friday sales. Or on second thought, I’ll stay home that day.

Happy Turkey Day to everyone in America and a belated holiday wish to all you Canadians out there 😉 Look forward to a new blog post coming Next Wednesday!

Love Always,

Maryann