“Vulnerability is our most accurate measure of courage” – Brene Brown
It has been said that in order to love, you must first allow yourself to be vulnerable. To be vulnerable requires you to trust that no matter what happens in the outside world, you will be okay. When you feel like your world is crashing around you and you cannot handle anymore, keep pushing forward. Faith is the light that guides you through the darkness and trust is what gives you the courage to try again.
Sometimes you have to take huge risks while not having it all figured out (which is terrifying for a control freak like me). Control is my defense mechanism. But since none of us are really in control, it is a tricky illusion. Because the only thing we’re really in control of is ourselves.
I’ve realized during my travels thus far that I’ve been trying to control everything instead of going with the flow. This is mainly because I feel out of my element right now. And whenever things don’t go according to my plans, I end up feeling frustrated, angry, and sad. I’ve even had several moments where I wanted to give up and go home. However, I have identified these tough moments as culture shock and homesickness. I’ve been working through these feelings instead of running from them. Processing our feelings is one of the most important things we can do.
Traveling takes you outside of your comfort zone. You find yourself in unfamiliar places and meeting tons of new people. Traveling humbles you and helps you develop patience. There are typically many challenges along the way. But to travel is to learn acceptance and tolerance of others (and also of yourself). It opens your mind to new ways of thinking and how to approach life in a different way. In short, traveling makes you a better person.
The ultimate goal that I have for myself is to allow myself to be vulnerable while relinquishing control. To go with the flow instead of trying to have it all figured out. To not take life so seriously. To stay present in the face of uncertainty. To stay calm when nothing is working out. To just be myself without judging the experience.
I made an extremely bold move yesterday. Some would even call it courageous. I chose to be vulnerable and open my heart. It was frightening and anxiety-provoking. But it was completely necessary for me. I wanted to run away and put my head in the sand because that was the “safe” option. However, I faced my fears and risked being rejected. I was completely exposed emotionally. And you know what happened? I was okay. I felt proud of myself for pushing through the fear and committed to following through on something difficult that I had started.
Sometimes you must trust someone’s soul even if you don’t trust anything else about them. Our souls know much more than our minds do. We tend to get offended if someone doesn’t respond to a text or honor their word/promises. Take nothing personally. Remember everything happens at the perfect time and there is always a reason why things happen (or don’t happen).
I always try to force things to happen even when I meet resistance. I don’t recommend this by the way because it usually creates difficulty. But what if we just let go? What if we just lived our lives without getting caught up in the drama? What about feeling more and thinking less? That’s what I’m currently working on and it’s definitely a process that takes time. Traveling is helping me tremendously. I am on a beautiful journey of self-discovery and I appreciate every second of it.
So I’ll close with this: Always follow your heart. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, and scared, and lost. Let yourself fall apart so that you can be transformed into the person whom you are meant to be. Trust the journey and find love for yourself. But most of all, remember to enjoy life and have fun.
Here’s a quote from “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield:
“Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins”
Until next time (which is probably sometime soon),